stressed on making decisions about my situation. help?
Question by quin23: stressed on making decisions about my situation. help?
im 23 years old, turning 24 in dec, only child. i grew up with my grandparents when my mom left to work abroad when i was just 2 years old. when i turned 20, my mom made me come with her here in the USA. Im working parttime in a hospital now and is just waiting for my RN exam.
The thing is, i met a guy who is now my boyfriend for almost a year. i love him so much and he loves me too. we have plans for our future and even planned of moving in together next year. I cant really tell my mom about our plans cos she expects a lot from me. 🙁 she has her own plans for me like me buying a car, a house and she wants to live with me also and wants me to help her with expenses. i have a stepdad but he has problems and needs to go back to his country and stay there for 1-5 years. now im confused coz i tried talking bout what i want to my mom like maybe moving out soon. she felt so disappointed and said i can move out now and she will just take care of herself and she can handle living in the street if my stepdad will also go leave. im so sad. am i going to be selfish if i’ll move out and be independent without a mom who always tell me what i should do with my life? if i’ll move out, i will still wana help my mom with stuff like paying for her car or maybe some bills but for now, im not sure if i can do that every month especially that im still starting on making a life of my own and i also have to help my grandparents. idk. (my mom has work btw but her salary wont be enough to pay bills and their house if my stepdad will have to leave). im scared to make a wrong decision. scared to lose my boyfriend over this. scared to make my mom sad coz of me. 🙁 help
(my plans before this problem came were : if i have a good paying job i will help my grandparents first by sending them money every month coz my mom sends them money now. then im still gonna help my mom sometimes and will then take care of her when she is already old..dont want to put her in nursing home, i wanna take care of her at that time)
Answer by rott
Your Mom will manage. you can help out, but that will probably make her dependent on you. Hook her up with social services if she is having a hard time financially. Consider her money a “loan” that you will repay, so there is no guilt attached.No one knows when their parent will stroke out or be incapacitated, so don’t count on that plan down the road, it could happen any time.If she can afford a car for you, she can take care of herself…this may sound cruel but what has she been thinking the last 18 years when you needed her as a Mother?
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