my husbands ex owes 14,000 in back child support. My step son move in with her now does she still have to pay?

Question by confused in Texas: my husbands ex owes 14,000 in back child support. My step son move in with her now does she still have to pay?
My husbands ex walked out of both their lives 14 years ago and never paid a dime in child support until I decided to get the Texas attorney general involved when his son was 12, she owes 14 grand in back payments and now his son has started a relationship with her and has decided he wants to live with her, if he goes and lives with her will she still owe the money to my husband? I know a lot of people who believe it is the child’s money but what about all the medical and support that my husband has paid for him over the 12 years that she was absent in paying…wouldn’t that be paying him back her portion of the support? I don’t understand how everyone thinks it is owed to the child…Child support is there to help support the child and if she didn’t do that for so many years then why would it be the child’s money, to me it is owed to my husband for all the hard work he had to put in the double and sometimes triple jobs he worked to support his son while she was off getting high and doing whatever…please explain this to me!

Best answer:

Answer by Remember to Breathe
It’s not the childs money. Does the child take his ‘money’ and waddle to the shops to buy his own diapers? No.

I believe she would still owe the money, definately. She’s been ordered to pay it, and her son moving in 14 years later after the fact doesn’t change that. It’s also not his money, it’s your husbands, as he paid for their well being from his wage.

What do you think? Answer below!

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9 thoughts on “my husbands ex owes 14,000 in back child support. My step son move in with her now does she still have to pay?”

  1. Yes. She still has to pay it. If you wanted, you could have charges brought up against her, for being a dead beat mom.
    Just because she has the child now, doesn’t mean she is off the hook. it might mean your husband might have to start paying her. Which only only means it will be deducted of what she owes him.
    I would be a b*tch and have her tossed in jail for not paying for all of those years.

  2. If you are asking a legal question, this is the wrong section…

    If you are asking a moral question, I would agree with you that back child support goes to the reimburse the parent for care he provided to the child….good luck getting it, though.

    My advice is this: let it go. You married a man with a child and a history. Don’t get involved as you will only make things more complicated for the boy and your husband. This is not about money to them, this is about love relationships.

    If it were me, the reward would be in knowing that I did all I could for my son and I wouldn’t be interested in the “blood money”…or money that was coming back to me after the fact. I would put it in a college fund for the kid or something as the kid suffered more damage during that time that the money wasn’t paid because his mother was doing drugs or whatever and deserves a break in life.

    I would just be proud to be married to such a stand up guy and know that you making a big deal about this will make it look like you are only interested in money and not what is best for your stepson.

  3. Yes she will still owe and must pay or face possible jail time. Once a child support judgment is set in court and payment is accrued, it must be paid. It’s like a student loan, it must be paid or you can have your tax returns and checks garnished if the other party persues it.

  4. In Texas, probably not.

    It is extremely unlikely a judge is going to seize a woman’s assets or put a woman in jail for failure to pay child support.

    Now, a man, would have to pay.

    And yes, the money is owed to the caretaker, not the child.

  5. You are correct about who the child support is for. Any court of law will tell you that the money is yours to do as YOU see fit. About the back support owed, if the child goes to live with his mom you will need to change that legally. At that point she will be named the custodial parent and your husband would have to start paying her child support. You can remind the court that she owes back support and the outcome will most likely be that your husband won’t have to pay support until her dept is paid in full. When the child turns 18yrs of age, and all support stops, the mother will still be expected to repay her balance. For example: if the child lives with his mother from age 14 to age 18, the father will be expected to pay the mother child support for 4 years. The court will calculate a payment based on how much your husband earns. So multiply 4 years of support at your husbands rate then minus that from what the mother owes you. If the child goes to live with his mother, you might not see a penny of that money until the child turn 18 yrs of age.
    As a tip, if the child lives with father, the mother pays child support. If the child lives with mother, the father pays child support. But, if the parents share 50/50 custody, no one pays child support. Therefore, she would still be responsible for her back support owed.

  6. This is back support (arrearages) owed by court order so it is still owed to you for past services. As for current, until its run thru the courts and support/custody is changed, then everything is still on as is. Only the courts can change an already court ordered order so until she runs this back into court, her support order remains intact and current

  7. First of all c/s is to “support the child” it goes to anything that child “needs” roof over their head, elec. water, clothes, food, car payment (children need a way to the grocery store and to the hospital) , etc.. now if your husband has paid for all of his sons necessities over the years, then yes the mother owes the father money, its as if he has “loaned” her , her share of the support for the child .. and now she has to repay what he loaned her..

    With that said, if the child is going to live with her, she can turn around and ask your husband to have to pay child support.. and im not sure how a judge would work that.. they could lower his child support payments until her debt is paid off.. for example.. say the child support payments would of been 800.00 a month.. the judge could lower it to 600.00 a month giving him a 200.00 deduction to go towards what she owed him.. until the debt was paid off.. i doubt a judge would make it a “wash” meaning well she owes all this money so he doesnt have to pay a dime, because he’d think of the best interest of the child and what the child needed.. which would be money to financially stabalize his living arrangements with his mother..

    Im curious if the mother lives in the area.. if so , if i were ur husband i wouldnt sign custody over to the x wife.. if his son wants to “try” and live with his mom.. and ur husband is willing.. fine let him go see that its not so rosey being with his bio mom day in and day out.. more then likely he will come back home eventually.. but i wouldnt sign over custody unless a judge forced me to..

    when i was 16 i went to live with my mom, i thought my father and step mother were so strict and my mom was the “good time” parent.. i couldnt wait to live with her.. my dad finally said if i wanted to go , then i could go.. with in a year i was back home with my dad, i realized my mom wasnt so wonderful and great when u had to live with her day in and day out…and it was in that time that i realized how great my father was, and all he had done for me.. sometimes a kid has to see it for themselves before they believe it.. but my dad never gave up custody for me to do it, and good thing since it only lasted less then a year before i wanted to go back home to my dad..

    good luck..

  8. Child support is financial support for the child paid from the NCP to the CP. If a NCP falls behind or does not pay they are still responsible. And may find themselves paying their arrears to the CP many YEARS after the child becomes emancipated. The money IS in support of the child and if paid appropriately while the child is a minor then yes it goes directly to the child as they grow up (LIKE IT SHOULD)…

    In the case of arrears being repaid after many years… This IS considered repayment for the support that the CP provided WITHOUT assistance during the child’s upbringing. Its sad because the child missed out on so many things while the CP was trying to make ends meat.

    Two things can happen here. She now has the child so some support would be due her… BUT she still owes $ 14k. The courts may call it a wash, or begin reducing her arrears by the amount owed to her until the child is emancipated. At which point any remaining arrears should be paid to the father. The father can then chose to use this money to pay any debts he incurred due to lack of funding while raising the child, or place the money in some sort of investment for the child such as school, savings, life insurance, etc.

    I recieve child support and spend more than double the support amount on my daughter, AND I also contribute to a 529 College Savings Plan and life support on myself that entitles her to be the FULL beneficiary should something (g-d forbid) happen to me.

    Child support is a controversial topic on both sides but the laws are written in black and white. So read up, call the agency and ask, etc. Knowledge is your best weapon and tool in life.

    I hope your husband’s ex wife does right by this poor child… He has suffered long enough now…

  9. Back child support does not get erased, she is still responsible for it no matter what she’s doing now or in the future.

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