If you’ve ever experienced a sibling “choosing” one sibling over you, how did you deal with it?
Question by Yvonne: If you’ve ever experienced a sibling “choosing” one sibling over you, how did you deal with it?
I have two younger sisters, and growing up the “middle” one and I were always very close. We’ve all lived in separate states now for yrs. however the youngest one sort of detached herself to some extent from everyone in the family. Her and I have never been real close, though as we got older I’ve personally been on a mission to “repatch” things with each individual family member (both sisters) each of our parents. The biggest challenge as been reconnecting with the youngest, as she most likely is not so trusting towards any of us. Too many problems of the past to write a book here, though primarily what happened was our mother uprooted us all as children & took us to a different state to live where we did not know anyone (after our parents split). I think she must be angry at our mother since she sort of dropped out of motherhood soon afterwards and my youngest sibling ended up running away, then joining the armed forces. Long story short, she made a very good life for herself. Well we all visited her when she got married, though that was 8 yrs.ago. I’ve been the only one to go visit her since though feel as if she feels as if she has to “choose” between me and the middle sister (as if she feels like she’s being disloyal to the other one when she gets closer to me). For the life of me I cannot understand why she just flat out avoids me suddenly after she starts reconnecting with our other sibling (even as an adult her patterns seem unchanged…thought for sure she had evolved more emotionally by now). From experience she is not honest about her emotions by simply denying any type of anger or upset about anything from the past, so this approach so far in life has proved fruitless. So many yrs. ago stopped trying to talk about the past that we all went through. When I went to visit her during this past Christmas it was a perfectly great, festive and a fun family affair! THe best ever actually. Now I am speculating that perhaps she may be feeling guilty for getting along with me so well, so suddenly is avoiding me, not answering my emails every since her and our other sister have reconnected. I don’t understand….WHY CAN’T we all just keep in touch with one another? *Also wish the one just a couple of yrs. younger than I would STOP competing with me, as if every family member I correspond with she tries to top it off? Or “gain” them as if it’s some kind of game? I try my best to ignore their behavior, and say absolutely nothing, ….just keep being myself, (diplomatically) anyways and try to keep in touch with everyone since it is SO HARD being away from family to begin with~, we’re all spread out over the states it’s been crazy for years! How should I deal with this crap? I mean, I’d like to have a good relationship with each of my sisters. This is totally unhealthy. What would you do? HOW would YOU handle it? THanks
Answer by Daniel
Don’t take it personally.
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